sudoku pantoum

Written to express my frustration at being fascinated by something requiring no creativity at all!


His elegance is oriental
neatly square and finely drawn.
Deliberate, unsentimental,
poised, inscrutable. A pawn.

Neatly square and finely drawn,
face hiding more than is revealed,
poised, inscrutable: a pawn
whose role is helping fate be sealed.

Face hiding more than is revealed,
a square of squares combines in nines,
whose role is helping fate be sealed
with simple single-digit lines.

A square of squares combines in nines,
as three by three across three times
with simple single-digit lines
predictable as nursery rhymes.

As three by three across three times
exposes patterns, he entices.
Predictable as nursery rhymes
but guessing could create a crisis

(exposes patterns). He entices.
Repetitions have a place
but guessing could create a crisis,
conquering is not a race.

Repetitions have a place
in off-set parallels, like life.
Conquering is not a race,
be slow to move - a foot-bound wife.

In off-set parallels like life,
dictated to by logic's laws,
be slow to move. (A foot-bound wife,
but finding strength within a pause.)

Dictated to by logic's laws
in intricate formations, trapped
but finding strength within a pause.
Imagination stunted, wrapped.

In intricate formations. Trapped.
Deliberate. Unsentimental.
Imagination stunted... Rapt...
His elegance coincidental.

Sudoku



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Picnic

Sunshine and a picnic, what a perfect lunch that makes,
when gentle friends are there to feed the soul.
Unwinding in the sun is more a treat that layer cakes
when there are no demands but idle-loll.


yes I know that's weak but I just downed a glass of riesling too fast...

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Karen Boyes

I went to hear a woman speak
from 4 till 7 at night.
She talked about the way we think,
I got some new insight.

Reticular something is seeing a lot
of whatever we just learned
(or did, or have an interest in),
self-confirmation's concerned.

We ought to wait for kids' responses
when we ask a question.
Instead we answer it ourselves
or paraphrase. Digestion.

Clarify when listening,
being non-judgemental shows
the listener values the speaker's thoughts
(or thinking process), knows

that empathising lets emotions
find some validation.
Children need to know they're safe
if they're to risk creation.



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The spiral of life

Life is a spiralling set of events,
repeating predictably when
the days in the week form a pattern
and even surprises are zen
-like; they fill expectations
and seem as if they had been meant.

It's hard to make progress in spirals,
relationships often stand still,
and if there is no moving forward
our interests are targeted kill;
predestined to teach as if sent.



My favourite horoscope site... Mystic Medusa is magic with words:
http://au.astrology.yahoo.com

Aquarius is a Fixed Air sign; infuriatingly stubborn yet too smart to care what YOU think. Always eager to dissent, the Aqua-Maddie vibes conservative in fringe company and revels in weirding out the straights. The beat of a different drummer? Aquarius marches to the beat of an instrument that hasn't even been invented yet.

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Memory Rut

I rained in my dull halo rut
and while a weak part of me longed
for paving or her greener pastures,
my tears puddled cess-pooling mud.
It spattered the halo wheel turning,
repeating emotion in circles,
reheating cooled memory blood.
My martyr wreath, tread milling rut.



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Prof Dev

Term 3 and 3 weeks into it,
I've learnt a lot so far,
discovered tricks in software and
attended courses. Star
speakers can inspire me
and next week there'll be more.
I'll do some net-safe thinking then
but won't become a bore.
Then later on a conference waits:
3 nights in Auckland. (Smile)
I've stayed at that hotel before
and could be gone a while.



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Friday again

Another week of work has passed
and I feel vaguely wrong.
A nagging itch to change what is
has made me think too long.
Some plans are made and consultation
has been started with
the teachers who my ideas will soon
affect. What's right's a myth.
There's never any end point when
we know how teaching should
be done and so we search and try
new ways that sound as if they're good.

I read about unlearning and
it made me think about
the way we value knowledge more
than kindness, beauty, doubt.
While in relationships forget-
fulness is seen as best
when hurtful actions threaten bonds.
So why like memory tests?


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New home

We've settled in and how I love
this house we bought in town.
The drive is steep the section slopes
and lots of steps lead down
but once I get inside the trek
seems worth each healthy puff,
the house is lovely, feeds my soul
and that is quite enough.

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fatigue

It's Friday. I'm a couched potato, stuffed
and drowning in exhaustion. Buffed
by years of knowing chores build up,
I robot-cleaned before my cup
of tea. Television keeps my mind
off what the weekend adds to lined
and drooping facial skin. Paid work:
A crawling load that I can't shirk.


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school show

This morning I went searching for
some costumes for our show.
I needed Superman and Bond
and astronauts and so
I trailed 'round the dress-up hire
places in the rain.
I got bow ties but boxing gloves
were asked about in vain.
Dinner jackets, buttoned shirts,
in children's sizes -found!
Superman in triplicate
but... no astronauts around.

This afternoon, like every evening
I have spent this week,
I sat with my sleek laptop open,
making pictures peek
on powerpoints that highlight all
the decades that have passed
of our departing principal
for whom the show is cast.



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pantoum - depression is the root of all... art

Art from Depression

Sufferers seek solace salivating,
licking lips at details that depress.
Suffering is deepened double-dating:
company is misery's success.

Licking lips at details that depress,
(reliving bitter scenes) inflicts self-doubt.
Company is misery's success
but loneliness lets inner demons shout.

Reliving bitter scenes inflicts self-doubt -
abscessed pain must drain or it will burst
but loneliness lets inner demons shout
with paintbrushes and pencils, image-cursed.

Abscessed pain must drain or it will burst,
constant aches build barriers to break
with paintbrushes and pencils, image-cursed.
Explosions tear excuse-veneers we make.

Constant aches build barriers to break,
artists are corrosively inspired;
explosions tear excuse-veneers we make
and desolate creations are admired.

Artists are corrosively inspired -
suffering is deepened double-dating
and desolate creations are admired:
sufferers seek solace salivating.



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being bitchy

The tongue is very light and yet I haven't learnt to hold it,
sometimes I wish I'd bitten on my tongue as if to scold it.
For then I mightn't make a mean and pointless observation
about a person I have judged by first impression. The temptation
to jump to bitchy unsubstantiated base conclusions,
is one I should have overcome along with youth's confusions.



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time

As usual there is far too much
to get through every day.
I learnt a while back that there
is only one sane way
to cope with all the various
demands from all directions:
focusing on straight ahead,
avoiding most corrections.
There'll be a lot of interruptions,
lots of deviations
but as I get through each big task
I'll ride with my elation.
The little things fall into place,
they happen in between
while all those unexpected chores
are fresh and keep me keen.



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Shifting House

Packing things might be a chore
but 'though it's work, it's so much more;
anticipation cannot bore
and finally I don't ignore
the little tasks I can't adore
like clearing off a wardrobe floor.

I wrapped up pictures off the wall
and stacked them up so they can't fall
inside a box stacked up with all
the other boxes. I'll recall
the contents since my neatest scrawl
is labelling each, big and small.


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goodness

Thinking how a friend is good and kind and selfless too
it dawned on me that good is something I don't want to do.
I act the part and when it comes to choosing right I will...
I know I won't have any choice... but something in me still
rebels and thumbs its nose at doing what's expected by
the moralistic culture western governments hold high.
As usual this rebellion stems from wond'ring what is 'right'
and how the 'truth' can be defined without a godly light.


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down

I'm feeling down, the lack of sun? A high just yesterday?
I wonder why the body throws these hormones into play.
I had a great day solving things and learning little tricks
but yesterday is gone and now I'm drooping, maybe sick.
Today I went and looked at shops with dining tables, chairs...
I love to plan new purchases so why do I despair?
It's been a good week, life is calm and organised, I cope.
But underneath I want to curl up, read a lot and mope.

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New home

At half past 5, after work
we viewed a house for sale.
The last few I had seen had been
so boring, 'though my male
thought potential was enough...
But finally, a house I love!
Each room was so exciting,
the layout far above
my every expectation,
this place just spoke to me.
We made an offer which they countered.
To our next, they could agree.
So now I'm packing nightly
remembering details,
the house has interest value
beside which, money pales.


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My new house 

house hunting

I spent the weekend looking for a house where I could live,
at open homes I'd listed from the paper.
I'd checked them all beforehand on the web and thought OK
but 3D viewing is another caper.
There's something in the street appeal that really shouldn't matter
but houses have to feel right when you see them;
there's something in proportions when you walk around inside
that whispers nay or yes this is a gem.
But going through the motions is supposed to help us feel
more informed on market value stuff.
I saw a Lockwood house that I could live in happily
but viewing goes on daily. When's enough?


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A painting

A painting in a shop spoke to me the other day, it was enigmatic, the tenseness of the characters made me come back to it several times. A couple in a cafe. I wanted to try the reverse of the saying 'A picture paints 1000 words' so here's a sonnet -
A POEM PAINTING A PICTURE:

Still Life

Low watts in cornered light bulbs hide her clenched
left hand and unseen bruises form where knees
appear demurely placed to please entrenched
conventions. There, glare reaches in to tease.

Her shadowed back triangulates the contrasts,
colours draw the eye past clothes, to lips
that shimmer, partly open as light shone casts
focus on the way her smile slips.

He leans away as one bright finger points
out worry on his brow and strokes a line
diagonally down. A spark anoints
his wedding ring - that slashed round warning sign.

They met for drinks but guilt keeps them apart.
The painting hangs unframed inside her heart.



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sold

I went to town today and signed our place away.
Potential buyers fought and upped the price I thought
we'd get, by quite a lot. So now I'm on the trot
and checking houses every day. I'll limit what WE'll pay.

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My father

He's gone and only memories will keep
my father from oblivion - that hell
where, stripped of voice, death-rest is all we reap.
And yet he's here, for I remember well...

Insistence on high standards in all speech,
on logic, understanding 'what' and 'why'.
Yes, I recall his criticisms, each
a wing-clip meaning we soon yearned to fly.

He showed he cared with knowledge shared; it seemed
as though his mind was packed with filed facts.
A clever man, not hinting that he dreamed
for us or for himself - but that was Max.

He lay there lifeless in that coffin bed
but I can hear him still, inside my head.

Michael Barrymore, Gary McCormick, Tim Shadbolt

One week to go and then we have, two weeks of holidays.
I seem to wish my life away by counting down; it says
a lot about my attitude to work and time away
particu'ly the weariness that's settled in to stay.

But lately I have socialised a lot (for me) and been
to watch a famous travelling show, I dressed up, really keen
to see "Chicago" live and thought that Barrymore would mean
a top performance from a cast to match his brilliant scenes.

Yes, he was charismatic and the other leads were good
but all in all it wasn't great and "My Fair Lady" would
outclass it any day in my opinion. Could
the Napier Operatics go professional? They should.

Then Thursday night I sat upon a barstool laughing hard
at jokes that poured like spirulina, thick and fruity. Bard
and entertainer, Gary McCormick played his every card,
then Invercargill's mayor came on and both of them then sparred.

But now I'm on a downer, silly. That's what happens when
you spoil yourself and gad about and see a lot of friends.
The real estate 'for sale' sign is up; it's helped to send
5 buyers through on tours, so each night I clean till 10.



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Easter

Easter was a time to tidy up around the place,
we cleaned and cleared and trimmed and dumped and sprayed. A hectic race
with time that made me stress a bit but now at last it's done.
The signs go up this week and now each weekend I shall run
the frantic race again for open days until the tenders
roll on in. My inlaws come- a hip replacement renders
men a little worse for wear, so they will stay with us
until the hippy trauma site recovers from the fuss.

Aside from heavy labour we had tea one night with friends
and planned to watch 'Chicago' live next Sunday and that sends
me into pleasant fantasies of jazz and Deco gear
so I feel well rewarded for my broken nails here.


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17 acres in Poukawa, Hawkes Bay, NZ

Up for tender 

Real Estate

We signed up with an agent (real estate).
Amazing that it took this long
to get around to it. I spent the rest of Easter
Friday cleaning, finding I was wrong
to think I'd hate the chores.
Virtuous is how I feel... but stuffed.
Tomorrow there is more to do but
my kitchen hasn't been so buffed
for years. Our place will be put up
for tender, there'll be open homes -4 weeks.
With luck we'll be all shifted into town
by mid July. And I'll have hollow cheeks.


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My Fair Lady

I've had a headache every day but gone to work and ...coped.
Every night I've thought "Tomorrow I'll be fine" and doped
myself with pills again. But Friday was OK. Exception to the rule.
I wandered town and occupied myself for hours after school
because I had a treat in store. A show to go to with a bunch
of other staff. "My Fair Lady" was the show and worth the munch
on half a Subway roll I had while driving there.
A teacher was a dresser and she took me backstage where
I photographed another of our teachers, dressed to dance.
He looked like any cockney boy (and loves to pose and prance).
I rushed to find my seat aware of costumes, dancers and
knowing, later, I'd see more in a tour we had planned.

I love that show, the words can almost roll right off my tongue,
I learned them while I listened to a record when quite young.
Even then I recognised the irony and laughed.
On Friday, laughed so much, my visibility was halved.
Eliza and Professor Higgens watched the film a lot,
they had the voices pat... and their humour hit the spot.
The premise of the story is an awfully clever thought:
that you can be whatever others want but never ought
to think that you will find your happiness that way.
You need to find companions who see underneath the play.


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cars and carry ons

Today my daughter has my faithful black
Toyota FX 1.6 Corolla,
(she's paying for it with a loan quite soon).
And I have got a speedy little roller,
a Cynos coupe that makes me feel so cool.
My life is full of lovely little treats
and that is what helps balance out the crap
when I'm exposed to tempermental feats.

Today I had a teacher crying, saying
she felt as though she'd been under attack,
she took on board the message but the way
it was delivered left her reeling like a whack.
A week ago another pair insulted
each other and they needed mediation.
It's all a sign of pressure letting up
and health that lets them down... to confrontation.

Today a lady rang to about our place,
she took a tour last weekend and seems keen.
She asked a lot of questions then explained
she'd have to sell their house in town. I've been
tempted to go see her place...a swap
would be an easy option... who can tell?
I'll go and look although I must admit
two other places stack up very well.


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My new car 

Mid Life Crisis

It's purple in a lovely blue-ish way,
the car I took a test drive in today.
It's sporty in a low-slung coup-ish style,
I signed a deal to buy it in a while...
(a towbar for our bike stand must be fitted)...
I'll soon be mid-life crisis auto-kitted.


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School caretaker's birthday

The Caretaker

Garth is turning sixty but you’d never guess; he walks
a hundred miles a day around the school and hardly baulks
at tasks - although the toilet rolls that block the loos might bring
a jaundiced sigh and grumble as he does the “caretake” thing.

Garth’s the man behind the scenes who saves the day a lot,
He’ll break a cupboard open if your key you clean forgot.
He’ll get his trusty jump-start kit when engines fail to start…
With jaundiced sigh and grumble he will play the “caretake” part.

Garth will always guard his shed with vigilance. Who’d dare
to take a cloth or cleaning fluid? You’d spend your life in fear.
He measures each container, knows the volume left within,
his jaundiced sigh and grumble means your deed’s a “caretake” sin.

Garth is turning sixty and he’s got his jumper leads,
he’s got his shed of secret tools, he’s done enough good deeds;
he’s claimed his seat for cups of tea at our round table so
I now propose we knight him as Sir Garth, Caretaker Pro.


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Flapper 

Back view of Madrid Soccer team (Outfits bought in Hong Kong) 

Madrid Soccer team at NZ Rugby 7s 

art deco flappers

Last week I went to Napier
to see the annual crowd
who flock to dress as flappers and
adorn the streets. No dowds
would dare to speak against them,
so many in the swing.
I really want to join the throng-
next year I'll do my thing.
I talked it out with girlfriends,
next year will be a week
of Deco madness, flapper fun
so now we'll have to seek
out costume bits and pieces -
the gloves, the head gear, shoes...
The men just wear a white shirt
and braces, who'd refuse?

We also go to rugby
sevens; we can wear
our glamour outfits there as well
and look great, never fear...
the people in the cake tin stands
are dressed in any gear,
so long as we look festive
or crazy, none will stare.
We all wore soccer outfits,
(Madrid's team, white and sharp)
My own had 'Beckham' on the back
and so I made my mark.


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electric fly swat 

electric fly swat

Staff meeting was the cream on top
of 'What a day'... I want to chop
the head off every man I meet. But now
I'm laughing and I must allow
I've lost the urge to snap. The lot
are idiots! Mine bought an electronic fly swat! What?
A raquet-shaped fly swatter that
is strung with wires. They go splat
and fry each fly you swing at. Men!
They watch the fly then spark and burn
but will they ever even learn
a swatter only needs to kill?
This version has an extra thrill.

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The Mission Estate Winery, Napier, Hawkes Bay, New Zealand

The venue for the Mission Concert where Rod Stewart is playing tonight.

Rod Stewart

That aging rocker, Rachel's ex
has Lear-ed into the Bay.
He's here to sing in Taradale,
the Mission concert way:
Each year we have an artist who
adorns the outdoor stage
and people picnic in the sun
then sing along and rage
until the darkness has decended...
thousands go each year
but I could not get tickets
so I'm sitting, writing, here.


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back to work

Been back at work a little while and things are settling down,
today I got a whole lot done, there's no way I could frown.
The other day my daughter moved back here, near us, in town.

I wrote a piece of doggerel about a joke sent here,
a joke about 2 blondes... you know, the sort of joke so rare.


She was into lick-proof lip-gloss
and false-eyelash curling tongs,
she wore D-cup stretch bikinis
and the bottoms were all thongs;
she could look as though she listened
while her eyes stayed blank and fond,
she was every man's pet fantasy
-you guessed it - she was blonde.

She was driving home from shopping
and admiring her nails,
half deciding to re-paint them
so her pace was not a snail's,
when a siren interrupted
any nail polish plan
and she slowed, anticipating
a cute uniform-clad man.

But the cop was five-foot-seven
if you didn't count her hat
and beneath the fetching head-gear
was blonde hair. Imagine that!
Well, she checked her Rookies' manual
then, "Your licence, please," she stated
and she checked her butt's reflection
in the window while she waited.

So the blonde who had been speeding
turned away to get her purse
but she fumbled 'round for ages
making things look even worse.
Then she patted her blonde tresses
and she made a counter-strike
as she asked in helpless baby-tones
"Um...what's a licence like?"

Well! Referring to her manual,
the blonde cop looked for clues
and the illustrations helped her
so she grinned into her shoes.
"It's a square shape with your picture on,"
she tried to patronise
but the other blonde was wise to her
and rolled her batting eyes.

So she delved into the makeup kit
she kept inside her car,
she was smiling in the mirror
as she said, "Ah! Here you are."
Next, the mirror was reflecting
prim brass buttons on a top,
so the officer said "Sorry!
-Didn't realise you're a cop!"


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My holidaze are almost over and it's hot.
This week has been the summer waited for,
I meant to go to school and do some work but
instead I rearranged the house - no chore
when one is rested. We decided we will sell
and move on back to town again this year.
(We want to live without a mortgage and spend
our money living life without the fear
of overdrafts et cetera.) So I'm inspired...
the house is looking more like magazine homes,
the outside rooms will soon be cleared of junk
and males won't leave mess for magic gnomes.

I washed the cushions from the couches
and planted annuals in the terrace pots,
I've moved a lot of furniture and fittings
and all while nursing stitches -there are lots
along my back (well, maybe 5 or 6) from
a little op to take a cancered mole out.
I didn't realise the aftermath would
be something I can really groan about.


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Outdoor fire place, camping 

Camping on a friend's section at the beach 

camping

Yes we've been camping...in the rain
although the sun came out to feign
a summer for some moments here and there.
The tent developed leaks along
a zipped up window. Canvas: strong
but loses water-proofing year by year.
We saw the new year in with friends
and sunbathed when the clouds had rends.
We feasted nightly on good food we shared.
A tv star and poet I admire
stayed next door but to my ire
I never even glimpsed his manly rear.
And in the sky a twinkling red
(or orange) light was spotted. Dread
of UFOs should make us shake with fear...
But we were keen and watched it 'til
it disappeared. It was a thrill
And daily articles showed lights weren't rare...
This week we read about the scam
pulled by a beach-bum family man:
he'd sent up lit balloons when nights were clear.
And heck, why not? He really got
the people talking. It was hot
gossip. Contrast with tsunami news: severe.

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