Mental Murmurs

The image I am conscious of maintaining
is crystal gazer, past the cluttered now
to vistas worth some sacrifice attaining,
impelling action short-sight won’t allow.

I tell myself to smile, find an angle
where challenges are welcomed for the growth
they will engender. Spider-like I dangle,
spinning; watching others try; or both.

The image I regret that I’m projecting
is side-lined, warning fliers of some traps.
the webs I weave must teach while they’re protecting
my charges and myself. (Too much perhaps.)

I tell myself to look for what is working
- despite the problems I would like to solve –
and use it to avoid the pitfalls lurking
in paragon critiques. Skills will evolve.

The image I hope others will remember
is inner motivation that inspires.
That urge to find a way: creation’s ember.
Unique but also stoking other’s fires.


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Green screen

When others take the long-laid bait
and plan to make short films, it's great.
When I am asked to instigate
the green screen setup I can't wait
to try out software, get a take
on how it works and then update.
I love the way I make my fate.
I love the way need fills my plate.


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Rolling Stones

Rolling Stones in Auckland - Easter Sunday


Yes, they rock. The crowd was 60 thousand
someone said. The screen was huge, and so I saw
his lips, his string-bean belly making history.
A concert - rock- I've never been to one before...
thought I only knew one song. But I was satisfied
and sang along with plenty more.
He cavorted, tiny action doll in shiny shirts
below the screen. The lighting show was jaw-
dropping, matching him in energy.
I used to fear self-induced hysteria. Bore
that I am. Judging from my cloud
with rabbit-minded logic. It made me pleasure poor.

A Good Book (Villanelle)

I'm lost and found in her; we've merged in mind.
Our memories combined as she confessed
between the lines, where time is redefined.

Her thoughts are mine and our emotions bind
us closer than true soul mates. I'm possessed.
I'm lost and found in her; we've merged in mind.

Her essence flows through me and I'm aligned
to heartbeats pulsing hope within her breast,
between the lines, where time is redefined.

I weep her joy, experience in kind
the pleasures she discovers; I'm her guest.
I'm lost and found in her; we've merged in mind.

I sob her pain and agonise, resigned
to facing fate as life somehow digressed
between the lines, where time is redefined.

As pages turn, more cameos unwind
but I can only guess at all the rest.
I'm lost and found in her; we've merged in mind
between the lines, where time is redefined.


Diz

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The Art of Conversation (sonnet)

The art of conversation withers when
the workplace fills with challenge. Theories aired
are well researched: Ten roosters crow, a hen
just quickly pecks the eyes from ideas shared.

Do leisure ladies practise repartee?
Are fitness walks and coffee mornings rich
with wit-inciting lingual artistry?
Or is their surface chatter nouveau kitsch?

Do web-based messageboards and email lists
provide a salon conversation pit?
Discussions written lack the nods and fists
or pearling eyes that glimpse an idea's grit.

Who'll learn the fencing skills to parry friction
performing in arenas of conviction?


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Easter

Good Friday was good. The house is cleaned,
my bag is packed and the chocolate fiend
inside me unwrapped and ate a marshmellow egg.
2 hot cross buns were warmed just right
and tomorrow we're catching an aeroplane flight.
We'll spend the day in Dunedin. Got eggs
to give my son when we tour his unicol home.
On Sunday we fly to Auckland. We roam
the country this easter, like rolling stones.
We'll see them in Auckland at Western Springs
then drive 6 hours, for Easter brings
my daughter to visit us. Poor travelling bones....

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Questions (pantoum)

Love the questions in your mind.
Wallow in them, Wonder 'Why?'
Answers drift until confined.
Let the questions stretch and sigh.

Wallow in them. Wonder why
your brainstorm only helps you ask.
Let the questions stretch and sigh.
Scratch the itch beneath the mask.

Your brainstorm only helps you ask
more questions - find a place to start.
Scratch the itch beneath the mask:
gather facts. (Subdue your heart.)

More questions! Find a place to start,
take an open-minded view,
gather facts, subdue your heart.
Questions undermine... Renew.

Take an open-minded view,
ignore habitual compromise.
Questions undermine. Renew
your purpose. Let them energise.

Ignore habitual compromise,
answers hide behind knee-jerks.
Your purpose? Let them energise;
between the facts, an answer lurks.

Answers hide behind knee-jerks.
Answers drift until confined
between the facts. An answer lurks:
love the questions in your mind.


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ICT Conference in Rotorua

I travelled to Rotorua and spent
the last few days a-gog. I went
to see how ICT has changed
and found e-learning re-arranged.

Exhaustion dogged me. Workshops full
of eagerness and ideas. Pull
me, prod me, it's all great
but no one mentioned what the state

of e-devices is - might be -
Instead I learned of Inquiry.
A model we have thought about
and now I'm keen, there is no doubt.

The keynote speakers touched upon
computer software, cameras. Gone
was any other mention
(although some websites got attention).

It shows how far we've come along
the road of digital sing-song.
Now we're recognising tools
as useful... but our teaching rules.




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sudoku pantoum

Written to express my frustration at being fascinated by something requiring no creativity at all!


His elegance is oriental
neatly square and finely drawn.
Deliberate, unsentimental,
poised, inscrutable. A pawn.

Neatly square and finely drawn,
face hiding more than is revealed,
poised, inscrutable: a pawn
whose role is helping fate be sealed.

Face hiding more than is revealed,
a square of squares combines in nines,
whose role is helping fate be sealed
with simple single-digit lines.

A square of squares combines in nines,
as three by three across three times
with simple single-digit lines
predictable as nursery rhymes.

As three by three across three times
exposes patterns, he entices.
Predictable as nursery rhymes
but guessing could create a crisis

(exposes patterns). He entices.
Repetitions have a place
but guessing could create a crisis,
conquering is not a race.

Repetitions have a place
in off-set parallels, like life.
Conquering is not a race,
be slow to move - a foot-bound wife.

In off-set parallels like life,
dictated to by logic's laws,
be slow to move. (A foot-bound wife,
but finding strength within a pause.)

Dictated to by logic's laws
in intricate formations, trapped
but finding strength within a pause.
Imagination stunted, wrapped.

In intricate formations. Trapped.
Deliberate. Unsentimental.
Imagination stunted... Rapt...
His elegance coincidental.

Sudoku



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Picnic

Sunshine and a picnic, what a perfect lunch that makes,
when gentle friends are there to feed the soul.
Unwinding in the sun is more a treat that layer cakes
when there are no demands but idle-loll.


yes I know that's weak but I just downed a glass of riesling too fast...

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Karen Boyes

I went to hear a woman speak
from 4 till 7 at night.
She talked about the way we think,
I got some new insight.

Reticular something is seeing a lot
of whatever we just learned
(or did, or have an interest in),
self-confirmation's concerned.

We ought to wait for kids' responses
when we ask a question.
Instead we answer it ourselves
or paraphrase. Digestion.

Clarify when listening,
being non-judgemental shows
the listener values the speaker's thoughts
(or thinking process), knows

that empathising lets emotions
find some validation.
Children need to know they're safe
if they're to risk creation.



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The spiral of life

Life is a spiralling set of events,
repeating predictably when
the days in the week form a pattern
and even surprises are zen
-like; they fill expectations
and seem as if they had been meant.

It's hard to make progress in spirals,
relationships often stand still,
and if there is no moving forward
our interests are targeted kill;
predestined to teach as if sent.



My favourite horoscope site... Mystic Medusa is magic with words:
http://au.astrology.yahoo.com

Aquarius is a Fixed Air sign; infuriatingly stubborn yet too smart to care what YOU think. Always eager to dissent, the Aqua-Maddie vibes conservative in fringe company and revels in weirding out the straights. The beat of a different drummer? Aquarius marches to the beat of an instrument that hasn't even been invented yet.

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Memory Rut

I rained in my dull halo rut
and while a weak part of me longed
for paving or her greener pastures,
my tears puddled cess-pooling mud.
It spattered the halo wheel turning,
repeating emotion in circles,
reheating cooled memory blood.
My martyr wreath, tread milling rut.



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Prof Dev

Term 3 and 3 weeks into it,
I've learnt a lot so far,
discovered tricks in software and
attended courses. Star
speakers can inspire me
and next week there'll be more.
I'll do some net-safe thinking then
but won't become a bore.
Then later on a conference waits:
3 nights in Auckland. (Smile)
I've stayed at that hotel before
and could be gone a while.



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Friday again

Another week of work has passed
and I feel vaguely wrong.
A nagging itch to change what is
has made me think too long.
Some plans are made and consultation
has been started with
the teachers who my ideas will soon
affect. What's right's a myth.
There's never any end point when
we know how teaching should
be done and so we search and try
new ways that sound as if they're good.

I read about unlearning and
it made me think about
the way we value knowledge more
than kindness, beauty, doubt.
While in relationships forget-
fulness is seen as best
when hurtful actions threaten bonds.
So why like memory tests?


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New home

We've settled in and how I love
this house we bought in town.
The drive is steep the section slopes
and lots of steps lead down
but once I get inside the trek
seems worth each healthy puff,
the house is lovely, feeds my soul
and that is quite enough.

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fatigue

It's Friday. I'm a couched potato, stuffed
and drowning in exhaustion. Buffed
by years of knowing chores build up,
I robot-cleaned before my cup
of tea. Television keeps my mind
off what the weekend adds to lined
and drooping facial skin. Paid work:
A crawling load that I can't shirk.


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school show

This morning I went searching for
some costumes for our show.
I needed Superman and Bond
and astronauts and so
I trailed 'round the dress-up hire
places in the rain.
I got bow ties but boxing gloves
were asked about in vain.
Dinner jackets, buttoned shirts,
in children's sizes -found!
Superman in triplicate
but... no astronauts around.

This afternoon, like every evening
I have spent this week,
I sat with my sleek laptop open,
making pictures peek
on powerpoints that highlight all
the decades that have passed
of our departing principal
for whom the show is cast.



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pantoum - depression is the root of all... art

Art from Depression

Sufferers seek solace salivating,
licking lips at details that depress.
Suffering is deepened double-dating:
company is misery's success.

Licking lips at details that depress,
(reliving bitter scenes) inflicts self-doubt.
Company is misery's success
but loneliness lets inner demons shout.

Reliving bitter scenes inflicts self-doubt -
abscessed pain must drain or it will burst
but loneliness lets inner demons shout
with paintbrushes and pencils, image-cursed.

Abscessed pain must drain or it will burst,
constant aches build barriers to break
with paintbrushes and pencils, image-cursed.
Explosions tear excuse-veneers we make.

Constant aches build barriers to break,
artists are corrosively inspired;
explosions tear excuse-veneers we make
and desolate creations are admired.

Artists are corrosively inspired -
suffering is deepened double-dating
and desolate creations are admired:
sufferers seek solace salivating.



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being bitchy

The tongue is very light and yet I haven't learnt to hold it,
sometimes I wish I'd bitten on my tongue as if to scold it.
For then I mightn't make a mean and pointless observation
about a person I have judged by first impression. The temptation
to jump to bitchy unsubstantiated base conclusions,
is one I should have overcome along with youth's confusions.



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